Hello? Can you hear me? Suddenly, there's no contact and you've been ghosted. Now what?
It happens more often than you think. A study conducted by Plenty of Fish found that 78% of single Millennials (ages 18 to 33) have been ghosted at least once.
It hurts. You felt a connection and now you just feel confused.
You're left with questions and self-doubt that haunt your next try at a connection. You question every potential sign of ghosting, sometimes becoming clingy. Or maybe you do the ghosting before they can ghost you. Either way, it still affects you.
Why? People want answers and can become distracted by the chasm of ambiguity. This drives the need for "closure." Time and energy is spent focused on the past, wondering about what went wrong, blaming yourself for everything you can think of, and craving the chance to just fix it.
But, there's hope for the haunted.
Others have gone before you and exorcised their ghosts, finding ways to effectively cope with this phenomena. This means challenging those negative thoughts with positive reframes, such as these:
If someone does not respect me enough to tell me that they are no longer interested in, or ready for this relationship, then they are not someone I had a future with anyway.
This happens to a lot of other people, so it does not mean there is something wrong with me.
I know who I am and what I have to offer someone who is ready, willing, and able to have a healthy happy relationship.
Our thoughts influence feelings and actions.
Each time you begin to think about the ghost, feeling the pain of the loss, remind yourself of these three things. You may still hurt and need to grieve the loss of hope for this relationship, but in a way that does not tear you down with it. The more it affects you the more you are still controlled by it. Excorcise you ghost by taking back control over your thoughts, feelings and behaviors. Live among the living, embrace the present and an unhaunted future.
Ok, I’m aware that may sound trite and that it’s not as easy as it sounds so if you get stuck and you need someone to stand beside you and ghostbuster, we’re here. Read more about ways to cope with ghosts here.